Parashat Nitzavim

The homework question is one that is hotly debated and has strong advocates on both sides.  To give or not to give?  Does homework only need to be drill and rigor?  Can homework be fun and exciting?  Can it be creative?  Is it a reality of life?  A necessity?   We believe that there is some worth to homework. In addition to the self discipline and organization skills it teaches the children, it also can be a wonderful reinforcement tool and a powerful strengthening agent.  It can also be fun and exciting!  Unfortunately, homework can also be the cause of much angst and even family strife.  It saddens me greatly to hear parents moan and groan about the role of homework in their lives… when I see parents during the summer and ask them about their summer, the standard answer is usually one of extreme delight with the fact that there is NO homework, that the dreaded battles and consumption of evening hours are absent.   Some parents even comment on the difficulty of the actual homework, how it’s become so much harder for them to do the assignments (I kid you not!) as their children have progressed through the grades. A reminder, please:  Homework is for your children!! If they cannot complete their assignment, the teacher needs to know.  We also have time guidelines for each grade.  If you child has put forth his/her best efforts and is nowhere near finishing, s/he should stop working and bring the uncompleted work into school, telling the teacher that s/he was unable to finish. You obviously need to help in this process by making sure that your child can work undisturbed by siblings, without the distractions of television, computers, etc., ensured that s/he has had some time to move around after school and even has had a snack.  We believe that it’s important for parents to be aware of what their child is doing, but not to do it for him/her.  It’s great to discuss an assignment, soliciting the children’s ideas as well as contributing yours as appropriate. Parents certainly may review a child’s assignment, not to correct any errors, but, depending on the child’s ability, to request that the child review the work, that s/he find another way to write that sentence, express that thought, solve that problem.  Was it a careless mistake or did your child really not understand the math concept? There are those times that homework is going to be mundane and even rote.  Math facts need to get memorized as do spelling and vocabulary words.  Your child struggling with them? Post them in visible places, play memory games in the car, share with your child some mnemonic devices, help him/her make up some tunes or rhymes to help solidify those facts……   Reading falls into a different category.  The time spent on independent reading does not fall into the recommended time budget. Many teachers request that your children read to you – and that you read to them.  Some of the Hebrew teachers request that you listen to your child read even if you don’t understand a word of what is being read!  We understand that schoolwork has different effects on different children and appreciate the disparities.  There is another way that parents can help with homework, one we highly encourage – that is of putting into practice the various middot that are so important to all of us.    The fruits of your efforts will not be ‘graded” or assessed in the traditional way, but very likely will bring you much nachas! Case in point: A parent of a transfer student was thrilled to tell me that her child has received so many phone calls for play dates and invitations to birthday parties.  Mom was just delighted with our children’s hospitality towards a new classmate.  What a beautiful commentary on our student body; we see this played over and over.  New students go home in different carpools so they may play with new friends; “veteran” students welcome new ones to sit with them at lunch and play with them at recess.  I am so appreciative of our children’s openness towards others; it speaks volumes:  volumes about us as a school, as a community, and you as parents.  You have taught your children well about hachnasat orchim, welcoming guests.  In my annual (it seems) appeal for returning families to offer hospitality to new ones over Sukkot, I am repeating the theme.   Please put into practice that which we teach.  Please lead by example; please invite new families into your sukkot, whether it be on the chag itself or on chol hamoed.  These actions teach your children so much. In a way, you really are doing your homework – setting examples of appropriate behavior, living the model of a value we hold so dear.  Shabbat Shalom and Shanah Tovah