Parashat Tzav

Howard Gardner made famous a theory that most educators have known inherently, that of "multiple intelligences."  He says that children (all of us) learn - or are smart - in various ways. 

• Linguistic intelligence
• Logical-mathematical
• Musical intelligence
• Spatial intelligence
• Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence
• Interpersonal intelligence
• Intrapersonal intelligence
• (He later identified an eighth intelligence, the naturalist intelligence.)

We believe in this - we see this every day.  A child who might struggle in reading absolutely shines when she's on stage - even memorizing her part amazing us all!

We see children who might struggle in math be the leaders when it comes to analyzing historical events.  Students who cannot imagine writing a complete paragraph translate an assignment into an outstanding piece of art work.

Obviously all students need to be able to read, write and do math – and many work mightily diligently at mastering these skills – or at least meeting the goals…but isn’t it wonderful t hat there are areas in which they easily succeed – and thrive?  Part of our curriculum is designed to academically challenge our students to do more, to reach new heights. Another facet recognizes that other need – of kids to succeed in other areas. And so, when we build our program, consideration is made to address all areas. 

Last week’s Oneg is a perfect example of this.  Our 5^th graders, with help from the DLGJCAC worked for a month with a playwright, writing their own scripts on Sefer Shemot, the Book of Exodus.  Imagine our delight when it was an unqualified success and the students wrote outstanding plays! This pleasure was increased when we watched 3 of their plays come to light on our stage and saw the various “intelligences” of our students shine!  This kind of learning is evident every day.  A first grade class took a break and the students did jumping jacks, counting to 50 by 5’s!  5^th grades learned about “chametz” by experimenting with yeast and balloon (trust me, it’s cool!); 3^rd graders used works of art to pinpoint Jewish traditions and also to create their own “Agams” about slavery and freedom. These of course are only examples of the multi-intelligence learning throughout the school.

The Pesach Seder, eons “before its time,” is a great example of this kind of learning.  We move, we taste, we ask, we sing; did you ever hear of the 4 sons!!!!.  Hopefully your children will bring home ideas and information that help you look at the Seder, at Pesach, through a new lens.  For many, it’s a turning of the tables.  We are commanded “v’heegadeta l’vincha”, and “you should teach your children.”  In many cases, the children are teaching their parents!! 

Second Trimester report cards should be sent home today.  As I read the various teachers’ assessments of your children, I am struck by the ability of our children to learn so much and to adapt to different styles of teaching.  I continue to enjoy the proof of multiple intelligences that children thrive in different ways, that varied learning styles – and the subjects themselves – bring out the best in our children and permit them to enjoy success.  

I join the entire Lower School staff in wishing you and your families a “zeesen Pesach,” our hope that you will enjoy your children and their knowledge – as well as their beautiful sweetness!  Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Vayakhel-Pekudei

This past Sunday, we attended an engagement party for our granddaughter and her chosen young man; he will be in kollel and she will continue as a math teacher in the NY City public schools.  As I enjoyed the happiness swirling around me, my mind took me back to my grandfather, who almost 80 years ago, fled Germany for the safely of the USA.  His worry in leaving his homeland was based on his fears that in this new "trafe" land, would his grandchildren be Jewish. I hope he saw my smile and hear me say, "yes they are - not only your grandchildren, but your great grandchildren, and your great great grandchildren, and im yirtzah Hashem, your great, great, great grandchildren."

Sometimes I hear parents of multiple young children or of those who are going through a rough stage wishing the age away….wanting their kids to be grown up (or at least not be little anymore)!! My retort is always the same “don’t wish away these years.”  And it’s not because of anything negative – the future stages have their own issues…but each step along the way should be treasured and valued for what it does contain, for the memories that are being made, and for the life experiences they contain.

When my husband was in Vietnam (for the longest 10 months of my life), we had 3 children 5 and under; I so vividly remember just wondering if I would ever be done parenting!! The answer of course is “no.” You’re never done.  Different stages require different energies and skills and each brings its own pleasures.

As your children grow and undergo the various lifecycle events – from getting their first siddur to their high school diploma, from their drivers license to their ketubah, you worry.  You worry about the “what ifs,” you second guess yourself, you question their choices, you wonder what else you could have done... Sometimes you worry so much, you don’t have time – or room – to enjoy your children.  And then they are on their own; And yes, sometimes they make not such great choices and you wish you could push “redo.”  But they learn and more often than not, they turn out very well and reflect the values that you had hoped to inculcate.  You get the chance to see that all that time and effort and energy that you devoted was worth it…but how did it happen so fast? Where did the years go?

Fast forward a few years and the dividends are born – but this time around, you don’t worry quite so much and you have the luxury of being able to simply enjoy, to kvell over the grandchildren's smiles and chuckle over the independence and recognize traits  of those who have gone before – and who grew up just fine.  You have the chance to marvel at the miracle of life and growth because you are not burdened by sleepless nights (and require less sleep!) and the worry about when they’ll reach their next milestone because you KNOW that it will happen, that with Hashem’s help, all will turn out well.

But even more amazing, the grandchildren themselves grow and thrive and mature and all of a sudden, they’re real people, facing the world and you see the absolute beauty in all of this.  I have been so blessed to have had the privilege of those sleepless nights, of walking the feverish child, of stressing over a child slow to pick up the academics; I have agonized over teens whose independence wanted them to go a different way and waited cautiously while life’s partners were being chosen.  And now, that they made good choices, we see even more branches as the next generation tenuously takes its steps.

My message is to relax, to enjoy each year of growth and what it brings, to take pleasure in your child.  Davening certainly helps as does believing that it will turn out right, that you are doing your best, that you are partners with G-D in raising this child and that with His help; s/he will become someone of whom you can be very proud (and even a friend). Shabbat Shalom.

Parashat Tetzaveh

One of the school’s Five Pillars is that of “acharayut,” responsibility.  Frequently we discuss it in terms of our collective responsibility to klal Yisrael, the Jewish people, as well as our community and our Country.  There is another important way in which to see this, that of our responsibility to ourselves, to making the right choices to help us be appropriate, our responsibility to think for ourselves.

This past week, I spent a chunk of time working with a group of students who collectively made poor choices.  The group of students together acted unkindly and inappropriately.  We were concerned because each child went along with a group decision that as individuals they certainly would have questioned or recognized as unkind.  The children, even though they knew what they were doing was wrong, participated because others were doing it, falling prey to peer pressure.

What we stressed to the children (in addition to the unsuitability of the action) was that they must think for themselves, only do what they know is correct, not listen to others when they know that it’s wrong.  As I spoke to each of the children the following day, after the children had written apologies for their behavior and discussed it with their parents, each of them said something to the effect of “That’s what my parents said!”  (Hooray!!! J)

One of our goals is to give our students the courage and the ability to “just say no,” not to participate in unacceptable activities, not to listen to their friends when they know it’s wrong!  It’s akin to “would you run into the middle of traffic if your friends told you to?”  Except that we’re preparing them for later on – when they will possibly be faced with more difficult decisions as teenagers. The time to start this education is now.  “Think for yourself.”

I appreciate the support from our parents in reiterating this message and helping teach our children to make good choices.

Shabbat Shalom.