Parashat Mikeitz

This week has been particularly exciting.  It started with a fantastic Chanukah celebration on Sunday at Ohev Shalom, replete with kids of all ages having fun.  On Monday, to start our Professional Day, we heard from parent Sara Glashofer, daughter of Ruhama Dmiel Klein, in whose memory the day was dedicated, who talked about  her mother’s dedication to education and how she might have embraced the use of technology to enhance her own teaching.  We then participated in workshops led by many of our staff members, teaching the rest of us how to implement some of the technology we possess.  Tuesday morning started with groups of students singing and dancing in the halls with their teachers after finishing davening, during which time melodious renditions of Al Hanisim and Hallel resonated through the Lower School. On Wednesday morning, the kindergarten had their Chanukah sing along and party and today, the second grade received their chumashim.  (Tomorrow, Mrs. Arzouan’s class will sing at the Hebrew Home and our girls’ choir will be performing at Leisure World.)  This is in addition to class Chanukah parties, special activities at lunch, and closing the week tomorrow with a vibrant Chanukah-filled Oneg.  Our dedicated teachers have prepared their students well and they shine in all these different arenas.

The root of the word Chanukah commonly refers to dedication.  It is also the same as that of education.  How appropriate.  The Hebrew word for education is cheenuch.  Anyone who knows a good educator understands the correlation between dedication and education.   I think it can also refer to parents’ dedication in sending their children to a Jewish school, particularly MJBHA.   Acquiring a Jewish education for your children means that you care, that you believe in a Jewish future, that you want your children to continue that beautiful legacy fought for by the Maccabees.  It is the recognition that for Judaism to continue, we need knowledgeable Jews.

As we have watched our students’ enthusiasm this week, as we have seen the light of excitement in their eyes, the joy of celebration, we too feel their attachment to - and love of - Judaism.   As much as we want our students to gain strong knowledge, we also want them to build a very powerful attachment to Judaism, one that will keep them balanced in the years ahead, one that will remind them of all the love put into them, of all the joy of celebration, a reminder of dedication.   The Maccabees dedicated their lives so we may live as Jews; they would not surrender their Jewish values.

It is a bracha to watch the results of such dedication.  Chanukah Sameach, Chodesh Tov, and Shabbat Shalom!

Parashat Vayishlach

Silence isn’t always “golden.”  As parents, we know that sinking feeling when all of a sudden, the voices of the children at play go silent and we rush in to see exactly what they are doing.  There is that silence when we don’t know what to say, don’t know precisely how to use our words.  Silence is not something we usually equate with the sounds of the Lower School.

Exactly what are the sounds of our Lower School?  As I walk through the hallways and stop into the classrooms, I expect to hear anything but silence!  Instead, I hear the melodious sounds of classmates greeting each other in the morning, frequently like long-lost friends!  It is hearing “boker tov” as students enter our hallway.  It is that time of year when I am hearing the sounds of Maoz Tzur and other Chanukah-related songs.  I saw and heard students during this past Tuesday’s indoor recess working out the rules of various games (a very complicated process at best!), laughing together, and cheering each other on.  Mrs. Graber’s music students are continuing with last week’s environmental drumming presentation and are making music with various household items.  The 4^th and 5^th grade girls’ choir is joining their harmonious voices in preparation for this Sunday’s performance at Barnes and Noble.  A Kindergarten class was moving to the beat of a lively tune and then very seriously talking on Skype to a classmate receiving medical treatment, helping him pass the time in a pleasant way.  Second graders are preparing their songs for their Kabbalat Hachumash.  Fifth Graders are working in small groups, producing original scripts (in Hebrew of course) for class presentations while also working cooperatively in General Studies, listening to each other and incorporating their ideas as they build models of the Original Colonies.  Fourth graders are acting out scenes from the Navi, Sefer Yehoshua, learning how to be spies, as well as focusing on Rashi's Midrashim.  Third grade is enjoying their counting game, going higher and lower, while interspersing humming.

It is the sounds of knowledge and prayer and enjoyment and cooperation, of learning how to relate to others.  As we have returned to school from one holiday and begin to prepare for another, it is beautiful to hear the sounds of learning at its many different levels.  There is the time for silence or quiet, as developmentally appropriate, to use inside voices as well as to listen to others.  We show respect for other people when we use our self-control (this month’s Middah) to listen to their ideas and even consider them, when we show that we know we can learn from others.  However, even given all that, the Lower School is rarely “quiet.”  It is more like a steady hum!  Silence may be “golden;”… that is what the early morning time is for, to appreciate the life that is coming into the building, the sounds that will fill the rooms and ring from the ceilings.

Today we had a few moments of expectant silence, as the students so beautifully and as quietly as possible, lined the Lower school hallways, as a surprise, waiting to cheer on Mr. Quartey as he left to participate in a Chai Lifeline Marathon.  Many of the students had made signs and their exuberance was palpable.  It was a lesson we felt was worth the time taken out of the normal daily routine to show our support, to recognize Mr. Q’s efforts.    What an exciting way to help bring a week to a close.  Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Chayei Sarah

My balloon burst when I found out the rationale for holding elections in November.  Somehow in my fantasy, I always equated it with Veterans Day, notwithstanding the fact that "Armistice day" was not founded until after the end of WWI.  (The actual date for Election Day was set in 1845.). The justification for a date in November was partially because the United States was an agrarian society, and this time of year was good for the farmers. 

I love that Election Day and Veterans Day are so close together.  Those years in which there is a presidential election makes me appreciate them both even more.  The very idea that we live in a country in which there are free elections, that the power structure can change peacefully, is not a simple matter.  We are so blessed that we have the luxury of being able to choose our leaders without fear as well as have the ability to celebrate our military's contribution to our freedom.

In school, we learn about both these facets.  Second grade teachers Michael Becker and Gavi Bacharach spearheaded our in-school election of Perry the Platypus, with every student having had the opportunity to vote on a secret ballot.  Many students learned about the idea of democracy and some of its benefits.

All students are also learning about Veterans Day as well as at least one "patriotic" song.  On Monday, November 12, at 2:00pm, you will have the opportunity to watch each of our students (all 311 in K - 5) appear on stage in the auditorium, dressed in patriotic colors and reflecting our pride in being Americans.  We will also have the opportunity to honor Veterans in our own family, parents, grandparents, friends, and employees.  If you know a “vet,” please invite him/her and inform Naftali Quartey at 5140, of his/her planned attendance.  We plan to start on time and will feature grades 4 and 5 before we go to the younger Lower School grades...)

Monday morning is our annual parent visitation Open House.  You’re welcome to come and enjoy watching your children in their classes and get a peek into their day.  This is our version of “take your child to work”!!!  (You will notice our Student Council Officers and Class Representatives who will serve as guides until about 9:15.)

Just a word about Rosh Chodesh Kislev, next Thursday, November 15:  Last week we noted that it would be a “yellow” day to signify the lights of Chanukah, but we are expanding that to include red and orange shirts as well!!!  Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Lech Lecha

This week’s parasha, Lech Lecha, is commonly translated as Hashem telling Abraham to "Go" (to the Land of Israel).  Another commentary that I recently heard translates it as "go unto yourself, know yourself."  One of the things we teach our Lower School students is just this - know who you are, know your strengths as well as those areas which you might need to improve or change.  Know that you are safe here, know that you have the ability to take risks, know that you are growing and learning and maybe even changing. Know that we will support you, and even guide you.  It's actually a fascinating process to watch.  Obviously, the children are encouraged to spread their wings, to stretch, within guidelines, to reflect appropriate behavior in their quest. The results are beautiful - seeing the children demonstrating their successes, dealing with their " failures" and becoming  stronger individuals is a side benefit to our daily interactions.  It is one of the motivating reasons we continue to look for new activities and programs to challenge and interest our students so that they might find areas not yet explored, subjects that might light their fires,  aspects that will help shape them.

Knowing ourselves doesn't end with childhood.  As adults, we certainly can appreciate new-found paths or interests, or even understandings about ourselves.  New opportunities bring with them new chances to reflect upon past experiences, to learn from them, to adapt or adopt.  Sometimes we even may surprise ourselves.  On my recent trip to Israel, I had several fascinating experiences.  (Yes, the wedding was an incredible experience - our new granddaughter is of Iraqi-Tunisian descent while the chatan is straight Ashkenaz.  Each of the Sheva Brachot under the chuppah was said in a different nusach; the Shabbat Chatan was a melding of cultures and a tribute to the beauties of all our heritages.)

In addition to the simcha memories that fill my heart, there's another experience that took me totally by surprise.  Our first Shabbos was spent with our son in his home in the South, in (what used to be the sleepy little town of) Netivot.  Unfortunately it has become a frequent target for rockets from Gaza.  And so, as we sat around the Friday night table, celebrating our grandson’s upcoming ufruf, the sirens went off.  This was no fire drill because they were quickly followed by the sounds of explosions.   Our son and his family previously have told us of this fairly routine occurrence, and of course, I have been duly disconcerted; my husband served in Vietnam and has discussed and compared their  shelling with what he experienced.   But I?   A definite first for me.  I confess...I jumped to my feet, as they all continued to calmly sit around the table, explaining why they felt safe, but of course, if I wanted to go into the protected room, we could do so.  What were my first thoughts?  " Don't tell my mother!"   I am still amazed that I wasn't fearful, not even when subsequently we were continuously given instructions about what do if sirens went off while we were outside - where to stand, where to go.  This was repeated this past Shabbat, in Beer Sheva, the "safe" rooms noted, the cautionary guidelines for walking outside.

Know yourself.  Know that some people live with fear every day, know that what they accept as status quo is remarkable, know that there is a  basic bitachone in Hashem's protectorate, know that the underlying love of eretz Yisrael dominates their lives.  Know that sometimes or frequently, we can stand up to evil, preparing ourselves for it, girding ourselves with faith, calling upon stored memories to know that we can handle things we never would have imagined...and in the end, know that sometimes our response is beyond ourselves, the primal instinct to protect our families.  Safe with the acquired knowledge that we can be strong, gleaned from years of learning about  others' strengths, we too can stretch and go into foreign situations with calmness.

Let us all appreciate the safety of our homes, and pray for the safety of those in Israel.  Let us help our children grow to be strong and independent, to experience growth and change within our safe borders. Let us daven that the land given to Avraham Avinu will teach us all this lesson of "lech lecha" - to learn about and look into ourselves and find strength.
Shabbat Shalom

I was taken aback by the warm reception I received from many students upon my return from Israel – thank you for raising such beautiful children!

Parashat Bereshit

It was the box of legos that prompted the sentimental journey.  My neighbor’s grandchildren needed something to keep them occupied over yom tov, so since no one at our house was using them, out it came from the closet shelf, where it was neatly stored.  Memory Lane: my husband was in Vietnam and I was (safe in New Jersey) in a small apartment with three children under five (my own private war zone!).  I wondered if I would ever be able to vacuum a floor without first having to clear away the hundreds of Lego pieces that our 5-year-old son used to construct his intricate buildings, and which his two younger sisters loved to destroy.  I also wondered if I ever would be finished parenting. The children grew and learned to play together – or to ignore each other; their interests and their needs were less demanding physically and occupied a tremendous amount of mental energy, concern, and worry: school issues, friendships, middot, drivers’ licenses (gulp!), colleges, life’s choices.  Then it got to the point when their friendships shifted to include their parents and the relationships deepened to include significant others – spouses and children.  Different kinds of worries; different kind of parenting: sage advice sought, continued concerns about their health and the vicissitudes of life – and that of their spouses, in addition to the layer of their children’s illnesses, schooling, drivers’ licenses (double gulp!!), behavior patterns, etc. Of course, mixed in with the worry about how the increasing number of kids were faring while fasting on Yom Kippur came the pride that there were so many who did so; along with the niggling worries about the child who wasn’t growing at the right speed was the enjoyment of his sense of humor.  And then there are the numerous phone calls that THEY initiate wishing us a Good Shabbos or a Happy Birthday – along with the plethora of hugs dispensed so lovingly. And now another level – THEIR children are maturing beautifully and are making their own life choices – to include choosing spouses!  How will they support themselves, where will they live, are they really old enough to make these vital decisions?  As you read this, I should be in Yerushalayim, preparing for the wedding of my grandson … the son of the avid Lego builder.  And, I must confess –I am sentimental : Somehow, the years pass and the floor is easily cleaned until you reach the point where the  toys (that survived being swept up into the vacuum cleaner) are neatly packed away into containers that are pulled out when the grandkids come.  There are many stages to life and if we’re fortunate, we weather them, at times wondering how we’ll survive the next one, thankful for the strength that got us through the previous one, never believing that one day we’ll pine for these times, grateful for beautiful memories..  If we had only known how quickly the busy parenting days pass, we would not have wished them away.  You are never done parenting – it just takes another guise. B”H, we have been privileged to be part of these phases and eagerly anticipate the next ones. Taking this to a different dimension, what memories will you associate with your children's growing?  Did events happen over the chagim that triggered other memories?  Made you sentimental for past yom tovim?  What do your children think they'll "always remember"?  I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Nitzavim

The homework question is one that is hotly debated and has strong advocates on both sides.  To give or not to give?  Does homework only need to be drill and rigor?  Can homework be fun and exciting?  Can it be creative?  Is it a reality of life?  A necessity?   We believe that there is some worth to homework. In addition to the self discipline and organization skills it teaches the children, it also can be a wonderful reinforcement tool and a powerful strengthening agent.  It can also be fun and exciting!  Unfortunately, homework can also be the cause of much angst and even family strife.  It saddens me greatly to hear parents moan and groan about the role of homework in their lives… when I see parents during the summer and ask them about their summer, the standard answer is usually one of extreme delight with the fact that there is NO homework, that the dreaded battles and consumption of evening hours are absent.   Some parents even comment on the difficulty of the actual homework, how it’s become so much harder for them to do the assignments (I kid you not!) as their children have progressed through the grades. A reminder, please:  Homework is for your children!! If they cannot complete their assignment, the teacher needs to know.  We also have time guidelines for each grade.  If you child has put forth his/her best efforts and is nowhere near finishing, s/he should stop working and bring the uncompleted work into school, telling the teacher that s/he was unable to finish. You obviously need to help in this process by making sure that your child can work undisturbed by siblings, without the distractions of television, computers, etc., ensured that s/he has had some time to move around after school and even has had a snack.  We believe that it’s important for parents to be aware of what their child is doing, but not to do it for him/her.  It’s great to discuss an assignment, soliciting the children’s ideas as well as contributing yours as appropriate. Parents certainly may review a child’s assignment, not to correct any errors, but, depending on the child’s ability, to request that the child review the work, that s/he find another way to write that sentence, express that thought, solve that problem.  Was it a careless mistake or did your child really not understand the math concept? There are those times that homework is going to be mundane and even rote.  Math facts need to get memorized as do spelling and vocabulary words.  Your child struggling with them? Post them in visible places, play memory games in the car, share with your child some mnemonic devices, help him/her make up some tunes or rhymes to help solidify those facts……   Reading falls into a different category.  The time spent on independent reading does not fall into the recommended time budget. Many teachers request that your children read to you – and that you read to them.  Some of the Hebrew teachers request that you listen to your child read even if you don’t understand a word of what is being read!  We understand that schoolwork has different effects on different children and appreciate the disparities.  There is another way that parents can help with homework, one we highly encourage – that is of putting into practice the various middot that are so important to all of us.    The fruits of your efforts will not be ‘graded” or assessed in the traditional way, but very likely will bring you much nachas! Case in point: A parent of a transfer student was thrilled to tell me that her child has received so many phone calls for play dates and invitations to birthday parties.  Mom was just delighted with our children’s hospitality towards a new classmate.  What a beautiful commentary on our student body; we see this played over and over.  New students go home in different carpools so they may play with new friends; “veteran” students welcome new ones to sit with them at lunch and play with them at recess.  I am so appreciative of our children’s openness towards others; it speaks volumes:  volumes about us as a school, as a community, and you as parents.  You have taught your children well about hachnasat orchim, welcoming guests.  In my annual (it seems) appeal for returning families to offer hospitality to new ones over Sukkot, I am repeating the theme.   Please put into practice that which we teach.  Please lead by example; please invite new families into your sukkot, whether it be on the chag itself or on chol hamoed.  These actions teach your children so much. In a way, you really are doing your homework – setting examples of appropriate behavior, living the model of a value we hold so dear.  Shabbat Shalom and Shanah Tovah

Parashat Ki Teitzei

The kids are back…the kids are back!! How delightful. This reality makes the summer so worthwhile – the weeks of planning, the endless searching for the perfect materials, the days spent arranging – and rearranging – the rooms to get the ideal set up, and the worrying about how the year is going to evolve. The first day comes and with it the surge of children’s feet and their excited voices, their expectant looks and the joyous reunions...the ballet of the new kids exploring their surroundings and the cautious glances to see who’s going to become their new best friend(s). Then come the looks of relief as the children realize that as much as some things have changed – new classrooms, harder books, different teachers, much has stayed constant and there’s the realization that this isn’t going to be as impossible as some had thought! Our older students emerge from various classes and they excitedly congregate by their lockers to exchange tidbits of valuable information about the classes they have already experienced. The younger students animatedly meet up with their friends from other classes and the neighborhood as they get drinks at the water fountains and at recess and lunch. All the activity and hubbub of enthusiasm are just a delight to witness. As I try to mingle unobtrusively with the children, to get reacquainted with them, to establish a rapport with our new students, I find out much interesting data: “School is fun”; “school is great”; “my teacher is nice” (sometimes whispered, at other times said with a tone of awe, and at times with visible relief); “I love my teacher.” Music to my ears. Hopefully you are getting positive messages at home as well! There also is the arena of perspective. Some children reveal a “half empty glass” outlook while for others, it’s “half full.” While discussing summer adventures, some people choose to talk about the downsides (the derecho and its aftermath, the heat), while others happily recall the fun times. Some of us enjoy dredging up the negative while for others it’s the good stuff that comes out. The same is true in referring to the classes, subjects, and teachers! I encourage you all to emphasize the positives and help each child see the bright side. Setting a time (in your busy schedules!!) for your children to have a few moments to discuss their day sets the stage for great communication. Of course if “nothing” is the response you get to your question of “what did you do in school today?”, encourage your child to tell you one good thing that happened, samples of questions the teacher asked, any topics that were new or seemed too hard, what other kids brought for lunch that they themselves might like, healthy snacks their friends brought, what game they played at recess…and the like. Yesterday, one of the founders of MJBHA, Helen Sperling (zichrona l’bracha) passed away. She was the mother of a college friend of mine. A few years ago I marveled as her great grandchildren enrolled at MJBHA. To me, it’s a beautiful tribute that the “Academy” is not only still standing, but also flourishing, that we today have continued the amazing legacy started by a handful of parents who craved a Jewish education for their children. Perspective. Could they have had any idea that all their hard work would really be worthwhile, that others would pick up the reins after them? I would like to think that all those who went before us know how much their years of dedication are appreciated, that as we polish our floors and order text books and worry about the mundane, somewhere we recognize that we cannot take Jewish education for granted, that we can’t just assume that it will always be here for us. In honor and in memory of Helen Sperling, I request that each of us looks at the blessings we do have, that our outlook be optimistic, that the children’s voices joined in daily Tefilah continue to joyously fill our rooms, and that we all work together to make the 2012 – 2013 school year the best yet. Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Tazria Metzora

This is such an interesting time of year; we are deeply involved in the series of "Yoms" as well as Lag B'Omer. It is a busy time of year and before you know it summer will be here.

As a faculty our energy is focused on making the end of school year meaningful and productive and we are also starting to plan for the 2012-2013 school year.  As part of our planning process we identify the programs that worked well and we are also always looking to make improvements to our program by introducing new ideas to the classroom so that our children benefit from them.

One area we take particularly seriously is class placements.  We know that class placements are a critical part of the lower school experience. Each year we look at the placements to ensure that the children get exposure to various teaching styles as well as the opportunity to interact with different peers. We also recognize that every child has unique needs and some teachers match better with some students. 

As part of the process of doing class placements we look at many factors. These factors include gender and geographic balance. We also look at the academic profile of each student as well as personality profile when looking at the placement.  Our classroom teachers and Special Services team also take a tremendous amount of  time to be sure placements work academically. Current teachers know their students and also understand their complex interactions. 

As part of the parent, teacher, student partnership, we would like to give you an opportunity to let us know if you have special requests for your child’s placement next year. We understand that you as parents see a side of your children that may influence their peer interactions and we will consider parental requests for students placements with other children as best as we can.  Given all of the factors that go into placing students, we can not guarantee all special requests will be honored.  Most of the time we are able to accommodate special requests (as they are often consistent with our own placement anyway), but at other times, the manifold factors that go into proper class placements preclude us from accommodating requests. 

That being said, it is also very important to note that what may seem like a poor class placement (by the parents or even the child) at the beginning of school usually turns into one of success over the course of the year.  Children learn to make new friends, find new interests, and develop a sense of independence.  After the initial disappointment, children adjust beautifully (with positive parental support J) and do well. 

Please know that you do not need to make a request for us to pay special attention to your child…you can take that as a given.

If you would like to share with us information that will help us in making a placement decision, please email it  to lsplacement@mjbha.org by May 7^th.  To ensure that all requests are properly reviewed we will only accept requests via email. We also ask that when emailing requests that you prioritize your request and also provide your reasoning for the request (as well as first and last names).

An example would be:

1. My first priority is that my son Will be placed in a class with Peter O’Day. Will and Pete developed a nice friendship in first grade and they have not been in class for two years.
2. I very much would like to be sure Lois is not with Mary Smith. They have been in class together for two years and Mary is very distracting to Lois.
3. I would like my son to have a teacher who is very structured and provides regular routine and consistent expectations.

Class lists will be published right before school starts. We are not able to share them prior to the beginning of school as many things shift throughout the summer (new students, students leave area, new teachers are hired, etc.) Thank you for your partnership. We look forward to a beautiful spring, fun summer and anticipate an exciting school year ahead.

p.s. At our Yom Haatzmaut Shuk today, students in grades 1 – 5 “bought” their Israeli treats with promises of mitzvot they will do: be on the look out for LOTs of help with setting &/or clearing the Shabbat  table, amazing cooperation and great listening, assistance with younger siblings, special attention to davening and acts of chesed.  Ask your child what s/he volunteered to do (approximately 4 mitzvot per child!!).  Your K – 5 children should be tired and exhilarated today from all the fun activities. We thank the teachers for their energy and skill!!

p.s. II (J) Lots of kids had questions about the attire for tomorrow.  Wearing blue and white is fine (if they have a clean outfit)). Shabbat attire is also great- but not too fancy

Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Tzav

Howard Gardner made famous a theory that most educators have known inherently, that of "multiple intelligences."  He says that children (all of us) learn - or are smart - in various ways. 

• Linguistic intelligence
• Logical-mathematical
• Musical intelligence
• Spatial intelligence
• Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence
• Interpersonal intelligence
• Intrapersonal intelligence
• (He later identified an eighth intelligence, the naturalist intelligence.)

We believe in this - we see this every day.  A child who might struggle in reading absolutely shines when she's on stage - even memorizing her part amazing us all!

We see children who might struggle in math be the leaders when it comes to analyzing historical events.  Students who cannot imagine writing a complete paragraph translate an assignment into an outstanding piece of art work.

Obviously all students need to be able to read, write and do math – and many work mightily diligently at mastering these skills – or at least meeting the goals…but isn’t it wonderful t hat there are areas in which they easily succeed – and thrive?  Part of our curriculum is designed to academically challenge our students to do more, to reach new heights. Another facet recognizes that other need – of kids to succeed in other areas. And so, when we build our program, consideration is made to address all areas. 

Last week’s Oneg is a perfect example of this.  Our 5^th graders, with help from the DLGJCAC worked for a month with a playwright, writing their own scripts on Sefer Shemot, the Book of Exodus.  Imagine our delight when it was an unqualified success and the students wrote outstanding plays! This pleasure was increased when we watched 3 of their plays come to light on our stage and saw the various “intelligences” of our students shine!  This kind of learning is evident every day.  A first grade class took a break and the students did jumping jacks, counting to 50 by 5’s!  5^th grades learned about “chametz” by experimenting with yeast and balloon (trust me, it’s cool!); 3^rd graders used works of art to pinpoint Jewish traditions and also to create their own “Agams” about slavery and freedom. These of course are only examples of the multi-intelligence learning throughout the school.

The Pesach Seder, eons “before its time,” is a great example of this kind of learning.  We move, we taste, we ask, we sing; did you ever hear of the 4 sons!!!!.  Hopefully your children will bring home ideas and information that help you look at the Seder, at Pesach, through a new lens.  For many, it’s a turning of the tables.  We are commanded “v’heegadeta l’vincha”, and “you should teach your children.”  In many cases, the children are teaching their parents!! 

Second Trimester report cards should be sent home today.  As I read the various teachers’ assessments of your children, I am struck by the ability of our children to learn so much and to adapt to different styles of teaching.  I continue to enjoy the proof of multiple intelligences that children thrive in different ways, that varied learning styles – and the subjects themselves – bring out the best in our children and permit them to enjoy success.  

I join the entire Lower School staff in wishing you and your families a “zeesen Pesach,” our hope that you will enjoy your children and their knowledge – as well as their beautiful sweetness!  Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Vayakhel-Pekudei

This past Sunday, we attended an engagement party for our granddaughter and her chosen young man; he will be in kollel and she will continue as a math teacher in the NY City public schools.  As I enjoyed the happiness swirling around me, my mind took me back to my grandfather, who almost 80 years ago, fled Germany for the safely of the USA.  His worry in leaving his homeland was based on his fears that in this new "trafe" land, would his grandchildren be Jewish. I hope he saw my smile and hear me say, "yes they are - not only your grandchildren, but your great grandchildren, and your great great grandchildren, and im yirtzah Hashem, your great, great, great grandchildren."

Sometimes I hear parents of multiple young children or of those who are going through a rough stage wishing the age away….wanting their kids to be grown up (or at least not be little anymore)!! My retort is always the same “don’t wish away these years.”  And it’s not because of anything negative – the future stages have their own issues…but each step along the way should be treasured and valued for what it does contain, for the memories that are being made, and for the life experiences they contain.

When my husband was in Vietnam (for the longest 10 months of my life), we had 3 children 5 and under; I so vividly remember just wondering if I would ever be done parenting!! The answer of course is “no.” You’re never done.  Different stages require different energies and skills and each brings its own pleasures.

As your children grow and undergo the various lifecycle events – from getting their first siddur to their high school diploma, from their drivers license to their ketubah, you worry.  You worry about the “what ifs,” you second guess yourself, you question their choices, you wonder what else you could have done... Sometimes you worry so much, you don’t have time – or room – to enjoy your children.  And then they are on their own; And yes, sometimes they make not such great choices and you wish you could push “redo.”  But they learn and more often than not, they turn out very well and reflect the values that you had hoped to inculcate.  You get the chance to see that all that time and effort and energy that you devoted was worth it…but how did it happen so fast? Where did the years go?

Fast forward a few years and the dividends are born – but this time around, you don’t worry quite so much and you have the luxury of being able to simply enjoy, to kvell over the grandchildren's smiles and chuckle over the independence and recognize traits  of those who have gone before – and who grew up just fine.  You have the chance to marvel at the miracle of life and growth because you are not burdened by sleepless nights (and require less sleep!) and the worry about when they’ll reach their next milestone because you KNOW that it will happen, that with Hashem’s help, all will turn out well.

But even more amazing, the grandchildren themselves grow and thrive and mature and all of a sudden, they’re real people, facing the world and you see the absolute beauty in all of this.  I have been so blessed to have had the privilege of those sleepless nights, of walking the feverish child, of stressing over a child slow to pick up the academics; I have agonized over teens whose independence wanted them to go a different way and waited cautiously while life’s partners were being chosen.  And now, that they made good choices, we see even more branches as the next generation tenuously takes its steps.

My message is to relax, to enjoy each year of growth and what it brings, to take pleasure in your child.  Davening certainly helps as does believing that it will turn out right, that you are doing your best, that you are partners with G-D in raising this child and that with His help; s/he will become someone of whom you can be very proud (and even a friend). Shabbat Shalom.

Parashat Tetzaveh

One of the school’s Five Pillars is that of “acharayut,” responsibility.  Frequently we discuss it in terms of our collective responsibility to klal Yisrael, the Jewish people, as well as our community and our Country.  There is another important way in which to see this, that of our responsibility to ourselves, to making the right choices to help us be appropriate, our responsibility to think for ourselves.

This past week, I spent a chunk of time working with a group of students who collectively made poor choices.  The group of students together acted unkindly and inappropriately.  We were concerned because each child went along with a group decision that as individuals they certainly would have questioned or recognized as unkind.  The children, even though they knew what they were doing was wrong, participated because others were doing it, falling prey to peer pressure.

What we stressed to the children (in addition to the unsuitability of the action) was that they must think for themselves, only do what they know is correct, not listen to others when they know that it’s wrong.  As I spoke to each of the children the following day, after the children had written apologies for their behavior and discussed it with their parents, each of them said something to the effect of “That’s what my parents said!”  (Hooray!!! J)

One of our goals is to give our students the courage and the ability to “just say no,” not to participate in unacceptable activities, not to listen to their friends when they know it’s wrong!  It’s akin to “would you run into the middle of traffic if your friends told you to?”  Except that we’re preparing them for later on – when they will possibly be faced with more difficult decisions as teenagers. The time to start this education is now.  “Think for yourself.”

I appreciate the support from our parents in reiterating this message and helping teach our children to make good choices.

Shabbat Shalom.

Parashat Mishpatim

This last week has been filled with special celebrations.  You know about our amazingly wonderful Color War on Tu B’Shvat.  And that was just the beginning!!!

Two 2nd grade classes celebrated their completion of chapter 12 of Lech L’cha with a siyyum at which they dramatized the story.  They also showed us how skilled they are becoming in Hebrew.  One of the highlights for me was watching them at their seats following along in their chumashim (which they received earlier in the year) while a parent leyned the text.  This was unrehearsed and almost every child not only followed along with his/her fingers, but also mouthed the words.  Another Kodak moment engraved in my heart!

Last Thursday, the fourth graders each received a Tanach.  Each year, as we give the students this “book,” it always amazes me at how our students have such agility with the text.  For them, the Tanach is a guidebook, a reference book that quickly becomes a friend.  (Did I mention it is Hebrew only??).  Watching them leaf through it, looking for their favorite “stories,” marveling at its maps, showing each other what they have located is a thrill in itself.

My week of “gifting” continued this week as our first graders had their Siddur parties.  Each year as I watch the children perform with such excitement, anticipating the big moment (!), I am reminded of how extraordinary this event really is.  I feel that I am more in awe than ever before at the prodigious amount of knowledge our students acquire and at how this is such a momentous occasion for us all.  That we are privileged to teach and learn and celebrate in such an open environment – and take it for granted - is in itself phenomenal and a beautiful bracha.   The looks of awe, pride, and happiness on the children’s faces are always a joy to behold.  The reverence with which they hold their siddur is something that I am afraid does not last forever; if only we could capture it! But what we hope will last is the respect and love that are engendered.

Something else wonderful happened on the stage at one Siddur party.   Watching all the students, you would never have known that one of the students, who is part of the Sulam She’arim program, only joins her Academy class for parts of the day.     Watching all the students, you would never have known that there’s anything different about her.  During the dances and all the various portions of the presentation, there she was – part of the group.  If she needed help, her neighbors were right there, lending a hand.  I have had many occasions to watch the interactions in class and other parts of the day; she is accepted as a classmate and - just simply included.  The same as I do not take our privilege of education for granted, I do not take this acceptance for granted – but I am so very pleased!!  We teach our kids about middot and the importance of derech eretz; we talk about the importance of kindness and accepting people for who they are; we know that everyone has different talents and skills and that we don’t make fun of people; we model appropriate behavior and treatment of others.  But when we see it displayed day after day; when we know that our lessons are being learned; when we see 6  year olds acting like menchen (the plural of mench ?? ), we feel such pleasure – such nachas.  When we can – and do – appreciate others and include everyone, we know that there is hope for this world! We know that, as important as book learning is, there is more to our education and the proof is in the actions and interactions.

Our children have already received so many extraordinary gifts in their lives.   The Tanach and the Siddur will hopefully remain among their all time favorites.  Our children have also given us a gift – reminding us how precious everyone is and how beautiful life can be. Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Vaeira

Although it is customary to  write about the coming week's parasha, this week I beg your indulgence so that I can share with you a very special happening last Shabbat at the preconference Shabbaton I attended (for those of you who were not aware, I was away). This preceded the Jewish educators' conference that started on Sunday in Atlanta (although it could have been held at any hotel close to any major airport for all we got to see of the city!!!).  As the Haphtarah (for Ashkenazim) was being read, words jumped out at me. As Isaiah refers to teaching and understanding: "Commandment by commandment and commandment by commandment, measuring line by measuring line and measuring line by measuring line."tzav latzav tzav latzav,  kav lakav kav lakav..", I looked at the person sitting next to me, the Judaic studies director of another school.  We smiled and nodded that knowing look.  Later we discussed how very appropriate those words are, how timely the message - even though it was written so very long ago.  Sometimes we do need to review, word by word, line by line; we build knowledge upon knowledge, foundation upon foundation, skill upon skill, not rushing to cover everything at once, but spiraling our learning, line by line. Beautiful that the "Torah way" is so insightful and educationally accurate!

The NAJDS (National Association of Jewish Day Schools) conference itself was quite a feat.  It is a conference (of approximately 700 people) for four different branches of Jewish Day Schools - Modern Orthodox, under the aegis of Yeshiva University, RAVSAK, the Jewish Community Day School Network, Solomon Schechter, and PARDES, the Reform movement.  Can you even imagine it?  The opening keynote address is designed to touch everyone; the workshops speak to the issues of today as well as to the various jobs of school leaders: technology, the 21st Century classroom, methodology, retention and development...  The major part of Monday was dedicated to the separate Divisions, for member meetings and denomination-specific workshops.  Most meals were open seating and it was rare to see tables with just one segment of the "population."  (Different colored nametags identified our affiliations.)  In many sessions as well as at meals and in private meetings, peers consulted based on common issues their schools face, not on religious striations.  Hot topics ranged from use of ipads (or the like) by students to "how much homework?" to PR and Hebrew programs.   As much as the sessions themselves were impactful, the networking is a major part of the conference.  The connections and relationships formed have a positive effect on our institutions.

Avi Chai and PEJE, the prominent names of Jewish Day School support agencies were present, meeting individually and in groups with various schools.

Yeshiva University itself has quite an impressive program in its Center for the Jewish Future.    It  is designed for  college graduates enrolled in the Azrielli Graduate school of Education who are working in Jewish Day Schools while taking courses and being mentored.    It is an impressive program that reflects vision and caring about the future.

In general, the number of young educators was notable and refreshing.  It is exciting to see that so many bright, accomplished, idealistic young adults have entered the Jewish education field and are making a significant difference!  I am encouraged by this and hope that the trend continues.  One of our teachers asked me what changes I am planning on making.  What I see is not radical transformation but rather a renewed sense of purpose - what I term "rejewvenation:"  tzav latzav tzav latzav,  kav lakav kav lakav.  Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Shemot

This week we start the second book of the Torah, Sefer Shmot.  In English it’s referred to as the Book of Exodus, but the literal translation is “names,” because “shmot” is the first important word in the Parasha (which is how the names of the parshiyote and their books are determined.)

I was fortunate to daven on Monday with the 5th grade boys, which in itself is always a pleasurable experience.  I marveled at their growth and how they seamlessly took on the different roles, switching chazanim for the various parts of the service, knowing when to wait for others to finish a tefilah before continuing, and some very naturally simply leading the others.  As I watched these 10 and 11 year olds, I saw a society in formation, our future shul leaders: who will very likely be a Gabbai, who will help out with gathering up stray siddurim, who will help a latecomer.

At the end, I discussed with them “Shmot.”  Why are names so important?  They had many great ideas, but I, who has watched them grow and thrive over their 6 years in the Lower School, have another perspective.  Names are so important; we are all part of a greater whole.  Certainly when it is related to us as Jews, whether today or as slaves in Mitzrayim, each of us has a role.  Each of us is known by our actions, sometimes leading, sometimes following, sometimes speaking up and sometimes being silent.  HOW we are known is up to us. 

This is a recurring theme in our conversations with our students.  WHO are you?  Who do you want to be? When people hear your name, what will they think?  Is your name going to cause others to be happy, to smile, to think positive thoughts, or not?   Who determines that?    The children all know that it is they who are the determinants.  Even children who have multiple older siblings who have gone through the Lower School, whose siblings might have had the same teachers as they currently have – know that they cannot rest on their siblings’ (or parents’) laurels.  Occasionally, a student tries on “a different hat,” starts acting out in some way, maybe by not studying or doing homework, maybe by starting to disrupt a class or be the “clown.”  Is s/he satisfied with the results of these behaviors? Are these choices that have positive effects on the child? Does s/he like the consequences? Is this who the child wishes to be? 

B’nai Yisrael banded together; each family defied Egypt , slaughtered the lamb and smeared the blood, each person  took up his/her bundles and walked out of Egypt, each person said “naaseh v’nishma” (we will do and we will listen) at Har Sinai.  There was an Am Yisrael, and it was made up of individuals, of shaymote.    They forged our nation.

So too we teach our children to be individuals as well as part of a whole, but  never to forget his or her name, who s/he is, who s/he wants to be, how s/he can  help and what s/he needs to do.  In Pirkei Avot, it says in chapter 4, verse 13 “Rabbi Shimon would say: ……-but the crown of good name surmounts them all.”  We work with our students to help them find their appropriate names and encourage each to find that shiny one of a good name so that s/he may take his/her rightful place in the greater community. Shabbat Shalom